


A Complicated Christmas

by BlackandBlueMagpie



Series: Complications [4]
Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Christmas fic, Familial Transphobia, First Christmas, M/M, some fluff some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:32:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9097615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackandBlueMagpie/pseuds/BlackandBlueMagpie
Summary: It's a Christmas for firsts.Alexis's first Christmas, their first Christmas as a couple, in their new flat. The first time meeting Enjolras's family...





	

“Have you got everything sorted for tomorrow?” Enjolras asks him as they lie in bed, arm looped over Grantaire’s stomach.   
“Turkey’s out of the freezer, presents are wrapped, stocking’s out.” He lists.   
“It’s funny, how much effort we put in and she’s not even going to remember it.” Enjolras chuckles, leaning up on one elbow.  
“It’ll be good for pictures, because everyone will want those.”   
“You know if we’re going to keep up the Santa thing we’ll have to get someone else to wrap the presents.”   
“They weren’t… That bad.”   
“Grantaire.” Last weekend had been and interesting couple of days as they tried in vain to manage to wrap any of their presents neatly. Their friends had been as bemused as they always were, remarking that even together they couldn’t manage even one decent present. Alexis’s, majority squishy, had been an even bigger battle, even the one square one they’d got her not managing to be halfway toward the crisp corners they’d hoped for.   
“Fine, we’ll ask Jehan to be an elf. They’ll enjoy it anyway.”  
“You remember last Christmas?”  
“I mean it’s hardly that long ago.” Grantaire smiles in bemusement at him.   
“No, it’s just… Well, I never pictured all this. Us together, living together even. A proper family Christmas, with proper decorations this time.” Sure, it’s a Hodge podge of their decoration collections on a second-hand tree, but it’s entirely theirs and Alexis’s has had great fun the past couple of weeks knocking the lowest baubles off.   
“Your family weren’t annoyed that we won’t be down for tomorrow?”   
“I don’t really care if they are. I’ve promised them Boxing Day, and I want this to be a nice Christmas, not one where I spend the day having to tell people my name millions of times.” He leans across to kiss Grantaire gently. “You shouldn’t complain anyway, if we’re here we can do that a lot.”  
“I retract any complaint.” Grantaire pulls him closer, Enjolras laughing as their lips meet again.

“This is going shockingly smoothly.” Grantaire comments as they sit on the living room floor, Alexis on Enjolras’s lap waving excitedly at the colourful paper in front of them. They’ve just put the turkey in, and now they have a bit of time before literally everything else needs doing, so they’ve decided to open stockings now. They’ve done them for each other, but they’re simple things like toiletries, a new tie for Enjolras, some pencils and a sketchbook for Grantaire. Alexis’s, in the advent stocking Cosette suddenly appeared with on December first – not that it was actually filled this year – is slightly more interesting, but it’s still practical, a new outfit, bibs, a hat, gloves and scarf set, another teething ring. ‘She’ll be more interested in the paper.’ Enjolras had pointed out.   
“It went fine last year.”  
“Last year was also last minute, there were no expectations.”   
“It was still lovely.” Enjolras smiles. “It was a good, relaxed Christmas. Like this.”  
“A proper family Christmas I believe you promised.”   
“And I hope it’s living up to that.” Enjolras pulls a present toward himself for Alexis to begin pulling apart, lifting a little of the tape to give her a head start. She looks confused at first, squishing the present and then realising she can tear at it and squealing in delight. Grantaire smiles fondly.   
“Of course it is. I never pictured anything like this in my future, let alone so early. I’m glad though, it’s… Well it’s probably been the best year of my life.” He admits. “It definitely feels like the most productive I’ve ever been.”   
“Raising a baby does that.” Enjolras smiles. “I don’t think we’ve sat down since May.”  
“She’s worth it.”  
“Even when she’s teething at 3am?” Enjolras shoots him a wry look.   
“Just about…” He laughs, then looking down at Alexis as she throws the paper down. “What’s that?” They both agreed it was cheesy getting her anything Christmas related, but then Jehan had turned up with a ‘my first Christmas’ sleep suit and stripy leggings, and Joly, Bossuet and Musichetta had presented them with a pudding onesie and he’s pretty sure at least one of the presents from Mel and Nadine is clothing. Then the pair of them had found a mini Nordic Christmas jumper while out shopping for actual, practical clothes and had decided that they could just about get away with that for a few weeks after the day itself right? “I should grab the camera actually, we need to make the most of all these Christmas outfits.”   
“You’d better hurry, I suspect she’ll destroy the paper pretty quickly.”   
He’s not as good with the camera as Bahorel, part of which he’ll blame Enjolras for because the man is terrible with noticing when you’re trying to take a candid. But he manages to get a few, Enjolras laughing with Alexis, Alexis in a pile of wrapping paper, Alexis nearly in her stocking, Enjolras watching her in the middle distance, a soft smile on his face. Enjolras will get his revenge later, Grantaire knows, but for now he’s happy watching the pair of them in their pyjamas, unwrapping presents together.   
“Aren’t you going to unwrap anything?”   
“I’ll do my main ones after lunch.”   
“The do your stocking.” Enjolras holds it out to him, with a determined look on his face, and before he knows it the camera’s out of his hand and Enjolras is grinning behind the lens. Grantaire raises a bemused eyebrow, but concedes and begins digging through the bits and pieces. Eventually the living room descends into laughs and trying to get the camera off one another, stolen kisses and wrapping paper.   
By the time the timer pings on the turkey and they even begin trying to do the rest they’ve only just got Alexis dressed in her jumper, and themselves dressed in the most Christmassy things they own – which turn out to be red and green jumpers. Enjolras settles Alexis for a nap as Grantaire peels the rest of the veg and puts everything in water.   
“The house smells delicious.” Enjolras comments wrapping his arms around Grantaire’s waist.   
“Hopefully the food matches up.”   
“You’re a good cook, I trust you.”   
“I’d hope so by this point.” Grantaire teases. Enjolras rolls his eyes, going to lay the table.   
He’d like to say there are no hiccups, but of course the turkey is ready too early, and the potatoes burn a little and the carrots don’t do as their told but it wouldn’t be Christmas otherwise. They settle down about half one, Alexis still napping for the moment, to a brief moment of calm. Enjolras exhales with a smile, sending a loose strand of hair fluttering, raising his wine glass Grantaire’s direction.   
“Here’s to the first of many.”   
“Cheers.” Grantaire clinks their glasses together, then leans across to kiss him, because he can. Enjolras always looks bemused at the look on his face, that moment where he remembers where he is and how he’s ended up here. “Here’s to a good rest of the holidays.” Enjolras sips his drink with a so-so look, turning his attention to the food.   
“This is perfect by the way, you’ll be in charge of the turkey every year now.”   
“Well, if I have you to help with the peeling I can live with that.” Grantaire smiles fondly.   
Once Alexis is awake, and well fed on a puree of leftover veg which has just about avoided her new clothes by way of wrapping her in a bib and a tea towel, they move to begin opening their bigger Christmas presents. Alexis manages to keep a paper hat on for long enough to get a rather indignant picture.   
“Our friends have gone mad…” Enjolras comments, pulling out the presents into a pile each.   
“Did you expect anything less once there were kids on the scene?”   
“She’ll probably be more interested in the wrapping paper.” He laughs, selecting a present for Alexis to unwrap. It doesn’t take long for the lounge to be overtaken by wrapping paper and gift tags, piling around the coffee table. There are, predictably, toys, new clothes in various sizes, a new photo album, and a few books.   
Thank goodness his present for Enjolras is better than last years, a new bag for work that he had his eye on, secretly, but would never buy for himself. Enjolras shoves a pair of squishy parcels toward him.   
“I actually got you something this year.”   
“I think I can forgive you for not bringing a present at a weeks’ notice.” Grantaire raises an eyebrow, but begins peeling the sellotape off. Inside is a new cashmere jumper, and a new shirt to match. “They’re lovely.”   
“You like them, I have the receipts…”   
“Enjolras, I love them.” Grantaire holds up the jumper. “Thank you.” He smiles with a kiss pressed to Enjolras’s lips.   
The TV flickers in the background as they all play on the floor, exploring the new toys Les Amis gave to Alexis. Her favourite so far are the puppets Joly, Bossuet and Musichetta gave her, but that’s probably because they ‘can’t find’ any batteries for the noisier part of their gift. Alexis laughs happily as Grantaire makes animal noises, giving her Eskimo kisses from the puppets and making her squirm in delight on Enjolras’s lap.   
He’ll never admit, though he’s sure there’s photo evidence, to falling asleep at 5, Alexis sprawled on his chest. Enjolras kisses his forehead, watching him from upside-down with an amused grin as he blinks awake.   
“Do you want leftovers sandwiches?”  
“Are you already hungry?” Grantaire asks, blearily.   
“Already? It’s nearly 6.30.” Enjolras laughs at his frown.   
“Oh…” He pushes himself up, holding Alexis. “This means she won’t sleep doesn’t it?” 

“Honey!” Enjolras’s mother embraces him in her over enthusiastic way as she opens the door. “Your train was okay?”  
“Miraculously.” He kisses her on both cheeks before she moves on to Grantaire. “Is everyone else here?”  
“Only just, plenty of time before lunch.” She bends down to coo at Alexis. “Haven’t you grown! Yes you have.”   
“You can coo when we get into the warm.” Enjolras laughs, and Grantaire’s glad to see him so relaxed after seeing him practically vibrating on the train with the nervousness. His mother scolds him lightly, ushering them both inside.   
Grantaire never had a particularly big family, so inside is a rush. There’s someone calling about glasses and drinks, chattering voices, someone complaining. He knows there’s not that many really, but the hustle and bustle throws him for a moment.   
“Do either of you want a drink?” Enjolras’s father asks as he passes with a tray of what looks like sherry.   
“Just a small one.” Enjolras says. “Where should be put our bags?”   
“Presents in the lounge, I’ll take your coats and things.” She holds out her arms, and eventually they manage to strip off their layers, and Alexis’s and figure out what they need and she vanishes upstairs.   
“Ready?” Enjolras asks.  
“As I’ll ever be.” Grantaire squeezes his hand, hoicking Alexis back onto his hip a little. Enjolras leads him through to a living room that looks like it’s out of a magazine, foliage across the mantelpiece, a real tree with matching decorations, not a hint of tinsel in sight, jars of baubles on the side tables. He feels completely out of place.   
“Maxime!” Mel exclaims, hurrying over the kiss them both on the cheeks and then kiss Alexis who chuckles. “Merry Christmas! You survived your first one.”   
“She just played with the paper, next year might be more interesting.” He turns to Grantaire. “Right introductions. This is Grantaire, and this is… My uncle David, Auntie Tilly, my Grandad Nicholas, and… My cousins have vanished but Leo is the eldest and Jonnie’s the younger one.” He gestures to each in turn and Grantaire raises a hand in a wave, and then Tilly comes over to give him a kiss on both cheeks.   
“Welcome to the family. And the little one too, I can’t believe we’ve not met her yet.” She glances across to Enjolras.   
“It’s been a busy few months.” Grantaire tells her with a smile.   
“Oh when we had our two running around we never got anything done. Thank goodness we got a good childminder. Where have those boys got to?” She asks her husband.   
“Playing that new game, I told you it was a bad idea to let them bring it.”   
Enjolras discreetly pulls him away from the couple, and over to his grandfather, sipping a whiskey – and Grantaire could do with one of those right now.   
“Pumpkin.” He breaks into a smile, but it’s still stern. “It’s been far too long.”   
“Mmm…” Enjolras skims over it. “This is my boyfriend.” Grantaire shakes his hand with a polite smile.   
“So nice to finally meet you, you never mentioned him at our last Christmas.” He chastises Enjolras, who frowns. “Terrible at mentioning things, even serious relationships.” He tells Grantaire who makes an ‘oh’ kind of face to hide his surprise.   
“Do you want to hold Alexis while we go check if Mum and Dad need a hand?” Enjolras asks, taking her from Grantaire to balance her on his Grandfather’s knee. She immediately tries to start eating his tie, but Enjolras leaves it be, pulling Grantaire through into the kitchen.   
“I was just coming with your drinks.” His father comments, but Enjolras starts talking before he’s finished.   
“Did you tell Grandad that I’ve been dating Grantaire for a couple of years?”  
“Now darling.” His mother doesn’t look up from the stove. “Your grandfather is old fashioned. He was hardly going to like that you weren’t married, let alone not even… Together. So when we found out you were dating anyway now we just… Stretched the truth a little.”   
“And didn’t expect me to notice?”   
“Well we thought you wouldn’t mind, it’s not like it’s a complete lie.”   
“It is. Grandad thinks I’ve been hiding things, which is not a good start considering it’s the first time we’ve talked in about 18 months.”   
“Could you just play along sweetie? It’d make everyone’s Christmas much easier.”   
“Fine, but only because I’m not getting in any arguments today.” Enjolras takes the offered drink and takes far too big-a-sip and splutters a little. “When’s lunch?” 

Lunch, though exhausting, is delicious and passes without incident, bar a few awkward questions that needed more corroboration to be answered and Alexis launching her food at Leo’s phone. Enjolras decides between courses to get her settled for a nap, as it’s getting on for two and she’s grumpy.   
“That was delicious Pen’.” Mel leans back in her chair, puffing her cheeks out. “The pudding especially, perfection again.”   
“If people can, should we move to the lounge for a few presents?” The hostess suggests, beaming. Glasses are shuffled around, new fizz poured, and eventually the party convene in the lounge, and then there’s the kerfuffle of who sits where, which present belongs to whom, and where each should go. Alexis grizzles as they shift yet again, to make room for Enjolras’s mother as she finally sits down, making sure that everyone has a drink and every present has been distributed.   
“Sit down Penelope.” His father scolds her teasingly. “They’ll all survive a few moments.”   
“Well, everyone can start! Go on, go on.”   
Everyone begins digging in to their own presents, thank you’s are called across the room, the boys begin fiddling with a new game they’ve been given, Enjolras tries to distract Alexis with a new, far too expensive for a 6 month old, teddy. She bats it away with an exclamation of annoyance.   
“Oh dear…”  
“You should get proper portraits done, she’d look gorgeous all dressed up.” Tilly suggests.  
“I don’t know if she’d sit still for long enough. It seems like it would be a waste if she’s not happy, and they cost a lot.”  
“It’s worth it though, the three of you would make a pretty little family.” She coos.   
“Maybe we’ll ask a friend. We have one very keen photographer among them.” Grantaire picks up the teddy, making it wave to Alexis who scowls, screws her face up and lets out a wail. Enjolras checks his watch, bouncing her on his knee. “She’s probably hungry.”   
“Is there somewhere I can warm up a bottle?” Grantaire asks the hosts, already moving to fetch their bag.   
“Oh, are you not breast feeding any more honey?” His mother asks, with a worried frown.   
“No… Not now.” He replies awkwardly, trying to get Alexis to suck his finger while everything’s sorted out.   
“Oh. I thought you were going to.”  
“I was. But, well… My milk dried up.” It had been a frustrating time for the pair, one Enjolras doesn’t particularly enjoy revisiting.   
In the corner someone mutters something about ‘poisoning’, which Grantaire assumes is about hormones, and Enjolras’s head snaps around.   
“What was that?”   
“Honey-“ His mother starts.   
“If you didn’t pump yourself full of the wrong hormones you wouldn’t have a problem.” His uncle repeats, without any sign concern.   
“I haven’t been taking testosterone since I found out I was pregnant.”   
“Good.”  
“That doesn’t mean I’m not going to take it again!”  
“But you were born a woman.” His grandfather chips in and Enjolras’s eyes turn to him with a hurt but resigned expression. “I don’t understand why trying to change that.”  
“Because I was never a woman! Just because I could carry a baby or because you’ve always perceived my body as feminine doesn’t change that.” He looks like he might cry, and Alexis still grumbles as Grantaire tries to soothe her. “I never was your bright happy little girl. I hated every minute I had to pretend to like all the dresses and dolls and frills but I just got better at hiding it, because none of you ever cared when I cried! Just because I could only put a name to this a few years ago or because you only found out recently doesn’t mean I’ve not struggled my whole life with this.” He stands as if to leave, but then looks back to the room. “And why shouldn’t I take testosterone? You’re all men, you all have testosterone, why not me?” He asks with a gesture to the room. “I’m every bit as male as you but you just won’t see that.”  
“Honey, just sit down.” His mother looks embarrassed. “It’s Christmas…”  
“Yes, and I’m not asking much but-“  
“You’ve asked us to change everything!” She protests.   
“And by refusing to change anything how do you think that affects me?” Enjolras puts bluntly. His mother’s mouth opens, closes, then twists into a pout. “Excuse me…” Enjolras mumbles, then pushes his way out into the hall. Grantaire finds himself at a complete loss, leg still moving mechanically to try and soothe Alexis.   
“I’ll take her.” Mel says, lifting her from his lap. “Oh someone wants their milk. Let’s go get it shall we?” She pushes herself up, Alexis on her hip, and touches Grantaire’s shoulder. Grantaire follows her in a bit of a daze.   
“The milk’s-“  
“I know, I’ve done all this before.” She smiles kindly. “Go find him, okay? It’s the second door on the left, up the stairs.”   
“Oh… Thank you.” Mel squeezes his arm with a reassuring look, then turns to Alexis with a coo. Grantaire takes the stairs as quickly as he can, turns right, then realises his mistake and knocks on the right door, then quietly pushes it open. “Hey…”   
“Hey.” Enjolras’s voice is crackly. He’s staring out of his bedroom window, at the Christmas lights that seem to be covering his childhood neighbourhood. Grantaire isn’t sure what he thought Enjolras’s room would be like, he barely saw his adult room, but this isn’t it. He’d say it was Enjolras’s mothers’ influence, in the accents, the modern floral print of the curtains. “I don’t… I can’t even believe I just said that.”  
“You were angry, rightfully so.”  
“But I completely embarrassed myself! They don’t care, I don’t think they even listened! So now I’ve just ruined everything again and don’t say I haven’t because even though I know I did the right thing it doesn’t matter! Because they don’t care and so everything will be my fault.” He turns to face Grantaire, face damp with tears, lips pressed into a thin, wavering line.  
“You know that’s not true-“  
“I know it is. They’re probably all down there gossiping right now about how I’ve ruined their perfect little Christmas with my selfish stubbornness.” He watches the speechless Grantaire for a moment before shaking his head. “You don’t understand.”  
“Of course I understand Enjolras!” Grantaire pleads.   
“No you don’t because you got out!” Enjolras shouts, then looks absolutely horrified. Grantaire stops short.   
“I didn’t get out Enjolras, I was kicked out.” Grantaire says flatly. Enjolras shakes his head, pushing a shaky hand through his hair.   
“I know. Oh God I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean…” He looks back up to Grantaire with those big blue eyes in the half-light, lit by flickering fairy lights, and Grantaire can’t stand back any longer.   
I know, I know.” He sighs, holding out his arms. Enjolras holds him tightly, cheek against his chest. There’s silence for a moment, then Enjolras begins talking quietly.   
“I just… You’re always so brave with it all. That what I meant. That you left and you made a new life and I can’t even separate myself from the family that never does anything but hurt me and stress me out and- This! They never do anything, and sometimes I just wish they’d make it easier by not pretending to be even slightly supportive. But instead they have to pretend and make things seem just a little better and then- Then that happens.” He sniffs. Grantaire kisses his hair, holding him close. “I just don’t know what to do…”  
“Well, for now, do you want to leave?” Enjolras nods. “I’ll go gather our things, you don’t have to go back in there.”   
He meets Mel in the kitchen, Alexis happier now, laughing as she’s tickled.   
“Do you want a lift?” She guesses.   
“I don’t want to impose-“  
“Because I don’t want an excuse to get out of here for a bit.” She shoots him an amused look. “I’ll grab my keys.”   
The car journey to the station is quiet, they sit a while in the car, waiting for the train to arrive – late, of course. Enjolras squeezes her tightly.   
“Sorry for making a scene.”  
“That wasn’t you, besides, it wouldn’t be Christmas without some drama.” She kisses his cheek. “Come down for New Year okay, and we can have a proper family day – and none of them have to know.”   
“Okay.” Enjolras smiles. “Thank you for the gifts.”   
“Nonsense! Thank you for ours.”   
They nab a table seat, Alexis dropping off opposite them as Enjolras leans on Grantaire’s chest.   
“Promise me we’ll never end up like that.”   
“I don’t think that should be something I need to promise.” Grantaire tells him. “I’m sure it’s a given.”   
“I’m just making sure.” Enjolras glances up with a small smile.   
“I promise.” Enjolras nods, then turns his attention back to Alexis as she gives a small snore.   
“It’s just… Family are supposed to love each other, no matter what. And if mine can’t even love me as what I am, can’t accept me for something so simple… What hope is there?”  
“Well… You have us. I mean, I love you.” Enjolras leans back in his seat, so he can look at Grantaire’s face properly. He has a surprised little frown on his face, but the corner of his lips turn up ever so slightly.   
“That’s the first time you’ve ever said that to me.”   
“Is it?” Grantaire jolts.   
“Mmm…” His smile widens. “You’ve shown me it enough times, every day in fact. But you’ve never said it.”  
“Well… I do. I love you.” Grantaire tells him again. “Even if you sometimes say stupid things.”  
“You know I didn’t-“  
“I know.” Grantaire kisses his forehead. “You were angry and that makes people say stupid things.”  
“I still shouldn’t have. It wasn’t right, or fair to you.” Enjolras squeezes his hand. “Because you shouldn’t say such rash things to the people you love.”   
“Oh, so you do love me?” Grantaire teases.  
“Shut up, you idiot.” Enjolras laughs, kissing him on the lips. “Of course I love you.” They kiss until they reach the next station and more people filter into the carriage. “You know I went to see Shashi about going back on T?”  
“Mm?” Grantaire turns his face back to Enjolras from where he’s been staring out at the misty landscape.   
“She’s going to put me on the waiting list for top surgery.”   
“Seriously?”  
“Well, I’ve been living as a man for quite a while now, and even though it took ages to get on hormones she hopes this one will be easier. And she knows how much my chest is worry for me, especially recently and well, she suggested it would be the next logical step.” He smiles. “Plus, Alexis won’t know me as any different from how I want to be then. I almost told everyone while we were fighting but it didn’t seem fair to you, you should be the first to know.”   
“You look so happy.”   
“I am happy, despite today everything’s actually going… Well pretty near as good as it could be.”  
“Here’s to a perfect New Year then.” Grantaire lifts his chin gently for another brief kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, what is it with me and angsty Christmas fic? I actually really love it and yet... Still, I have another piece appearing in the next couple of days for the Les Mis Holiday Exchange (was expecting it to be released before Christmas day, hence why this one is late) and that's much fluffier! 
> 
> Hope you're all having wonderful holiday seasons! And a Happy New Year!


End file.
